life after cancer

Having cancer was like being in love: it was all I could think about. Every brain cell was consumed with thoughts of the disease, what my next steps were regarding treatments and surgeries. Every fiber of my body bore witness to its presence. I couldn't escape the baldness, extreme pain, nausea, and the occasional crankiness I sometimes found myself spewing at my hubby. I was quietly simmering with resentment at this total takeover of my life. As treatments went on, cancer seemed to have become my identity. Then today, while reminiscing through my journey with cancer, I began to think about what it would be like if, instead of cancer, Jesus became my identity. What if my brain cells were consumed with His thoughts. What would my life look like if He made a total takeover, what impact would it make on my world and in my community if I were recognized as having been with Jesus? And so today, I certainly hope that light was shining through me today. Because surely I wouldn't be here sitting in our spare room, sipping on an iced grande americano, sharing the other side of my story; life after cancer, if it weren't for the One who healed me.
My purpose now is simple :: to know God and to make Him known. Because without Him, I am nothing. I would be a bitter, sarcastic, angry person; harboring every piece of offense that came my way if it wasn't for Jesus in my life. I am sure thankful for repentance and His unyielding forgiveness for us all.

Today I had the honor and privilege of doing a video/photo shoot for Baylor Hospital to share my story. I was overwhelmed at the thought of it several months back when I first heard from the marketing department. Not really thinking anything would come of it, I simply forgot about it. Then I received an email with a questionnaire and a scheduled time to do the shoot and I started freaking out.
When I arrived there was coffee and breakfast waiting for me,  makeup, wardrobe, and a professional shoot with some very talented, funny, people. Then we hung out and chatted. Laughed and joked and then I was up for the video... not really knowing how to prepare myself for today I didn't look over any of my past blog entries, journals, or even researched what I had gone through.  I just prayed. I prayed for peace and the words to just flow out. The room was set up like I was on set somewhere big, producing a commerical. It was intimidating. There was a makeup artist who touched my face up, placed the mic inconspicuously, which was slightly awkward, then there was me... standing there in the spot light with a lot of strangers look at me.  It was one of the best experiences I have ever had. Even though I had to go back in time to re-live some of my journey, surprisingly it wasn't all that bad.

"What brought you to Baylor Waxahachie?" The nice lady in the monitor asked... That is such a loaded question, and I wasn't sure where to start. As I began to respond I could feel the lump in my throat start to rise. Am I really getting emotional over this?! Uh, yes, yes I am.
I took a deep breath, smiled real big and said, "I felt a lump in late October, not really sure what it was I felt, I let it go and forgot about it. The thought of having breast cancer at 28 hadn't even crossed my mind at that point. A few months went by and by December I was in severe pain. (I know cancer doesn't hurt, I heard that very same statement from my doctor. It was the Holy Spirit nudging me to get checked out, I wouldn't have thought about it again if it wasn't for the pain.) I went to see my doctor about the nagging pain and lump and that's when she referred me to Baylor Waxahachie."
The nice lady smiled and nodded and kept asking more questions. And that's when I realized I was kind of a big deal. I had hit the mark. I had survived cancer and won. I had my life back. I had my health back. I was stronger.

Having cancer means you have many milestones :: date of being diagnosed, start of treatment, end of treatment, surgery... etc. One of the most memorable milestones was obviously the last day of chemo for me, April 11, 2013 - but the biggest, most exciting milestone was when the cancer officially left my body, May 13, 2013 - after having a bilateral mastectomy my breast surgeon reassured me that she had scraped every last bit of it out, clear to the bone. I was cancer free!

I just wanted to share with you my latest milestone, an update on my hair growth, my sweet baby girl, and my supportive husband, Greg. Thank you for taking the time to read and pray with me. As of now I am cancer free, done with treatments, surgeries, everything! It has been a whirlwind of a year a and half and with the support, love, and prayers from all of you, WE did it!

YES! 

after my 3rd hair trim :: trying to get it into a natural shape, it's definitely getting there!
  

spending the day with olivia :: riding her bike, playing at the park, and a doing a little chalk
art outside. 

Meet Greg ::  the most secure hunk of a man you'll ever meet and also the best
dad in the world. I am so thankful for the relationship he and Olivia share. It's priceless.