take my breath away.

I am not a writer nor am I a blogger... I wish I had the finesse to write out my thoughts and feelings for the world...so for now bare with me as I share my journey with you.

December 13, 2012 around 4pm I heard the most devastating news that I was not prepared to hear.
Dr. Brady looked at me with sad eyes and said, “It doesn’t look good. I’m sorry, but you have breast cancer." – Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. – The emotion that took over my body was unbelievable. I couldn’t breath. I felt trapped and the thing that kept going through my mind was Olivia. I need to raise my daughter; I am not finished yet…

I am 28 years old.

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece, a friend and a coworker. Never in a million years did I think that I’d be adding breast cancer survivor to my list of titles…but I’m proud to add that because that’s what I’ll be… a survivor.

In October I found a lump in my breast. No, I don’t do self-breast exams and I never thought about it before. But I felt a nudge to do so and I did it. I’d like to think that was the Holy Spirit… or maybe it was the show Parenthood that made me more aware. I like to think it was truly the Holy Spirit. :) After I had found the lump I didn't think twice. I left on a quick trip to see my Dad in Seattle came back and forgot about it. I was busy with life. It didn’t dawn on me that something was wrong until it started to hurt. It felt like a stabbing pain going through my chest. I went to my doctor on 12/5 and she felt it. She felt another area of my breast that seemed odd and scheduled me a sonogram/mammogram the following week. Both showed the small tumor and white dots (calcifications) on either side of my breast. On 12/12 I had two different biopsies done and on 12/13 I was given the results. Bam, bam, bam.

I am hopeful. I am a child of God. I know that God didn’t cause this. God doesn’t cause evil… that my friend is the devil. And to quote someone very dear to me, “the devil is just messing with the wrong family.” True dat.

These are a few scriptures that are taped to my mirror and written on my heart…

- Psalms 112:7-8

He will have no fear of bad news; his heart his steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph of his foes.

- Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

- James 1:2

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.

                         

I have a community of people that are prayer warriors and are dedicating their time to pray with me. My bible study girls are praying around the clock and have been so, so encouraging. I have best friends that have already stepped up more than I could ever repay them. I have family; a big loving, dedicated family that will fight with me. I know that in a year this will be a distant memory, a testimony, and a story that I will have to share with the world. 

This is my journey. This is my fight.